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Shortly into dinner, there was a knock at the door. I could see through the glass window that it was two of Sunshine’s finest men in blue.
I inherited my father’s good looks and my mother’s twin towers. I found having big ta-tas didn’t hurt sometimes. I felt like it was going to be one of those times. I gave my push-up bra a hike from below to lift the ladies a little more.
Being beautiful and big in the right areas wasn’t a bad thing unless, of course, you wanted people to take you seriously or treat you like you had a brain. I noticed this more often with those who have dangling participles. They sometimes think with the wrong head. In those cases, I might have flaunted it a little to get what I wanted. It mostly worked. Some people called me a tease. I called it putting your assets to work for you.
I opened up the door and batted my eyelashes. “Hello, officers.”
“Ma’am, we received a complaint that your boat is too close to the neighbors’ house.”
“What’s the setback?”
They looked at me like I was talking Greek.
“Why are you here instead of the zoning officer?”
I worked for government, so I had an insider’s knowledge. The zoning officer typically handled complaints about zoning laws. Boats in driveways fell under the zoning code and the zoning officer’s jurisdiction. The fact that the police were here said to me that Lyla screamed, cried, or carried on in such a way that she got what she wanted. She wanted the police to come and she got her way. She probably used the “My husband is a senator!” line. Or maybe she had her husband called the Mayor of Sunshine directly. There was one thing I learned about politicians along the way. They thought they were gods and that they could do whatever they wanted. They especially thought they could circumvent protocol without anyone knowing.
The officers looked at me, confused again. The poor rookies didn’t know that they shouldn’t be wasting their crime-fighting hours on a boat complaint.
“We’re just doing as we were told, ma’am.”
There was that word “ma’am” again! I hated being called ma’am. It made me feel old.
I leaned forward, pretending to lean out of the house to see where the boat was. I noticed their eyes diverted downward to my au naturels. Given their eye movements and body language, I figured I could buy myself some time.
“Would it be okay if we moved the boat by Monday? I’m here all alone with my daughters and I don’t know how to move it all by myself. I need to get some help.”
“Oh yes, ma’am. That’d be fine,” the one who looked like he was eighteen said, never taking his gaze off my gigundas.
I thanked them and closed the door. I smirked as I went back to the kitchen.
“Why are the police here?” Kailyn asked.
“It’s about the boat, honey.”
“Are you in trouble?” Callie asked.
“No, sweetie. Make sure you finish those carrots. They are good for your eyes.”
Callie winced at the thought of having to finish her carrots.
We finished up dinner, and then I did the dishes. Afterwards, I logged onto the internet while the girls did their homework. I checked the zoning setback regulations for Sunshine. I found that boats were permitted in side yards, so long as they were five feet from the property line. I snatched a tape measure and went outside to measure the distance from my fence to our boat. The boat was within three inches of the regulations. Really? She’s freaking out over three inches?
I noted that I had to call the Mayor of Sunshine and complain about how I wasn’t treated like every other resident in the town. What was the point of that? Did she think the police would scare me? Lemon Face didn’t realize that I grew up in a family of cops. My uncle was retired from the Trenton Police Force. I had cousins that were sheriffs’ officers and detectives in the prosecutor’s office. Heck, I worked with the police at my current and previous jobs! Not that I saw them every day, but I certainly wasn’t afraid of the police.
I stomped back into the house, sent the girls to bed, and made myself a drink. I plopped myself onto the couch and spent the evening sipping my cosmo and watching a movie. Mindless activities for stress relief.
I tried to wait up for Jayce to come home, but I fell off to Dreamland hours before the noisy garage door woke me. I realized I hadn’t made it to bed before I dozed off.
“What time is it?” I was sleepy and trying to focus.
“It’s two,” Jayce responded.
“Why are you so late tonight?”
“Emergency craniotomy. I was the only available neurosurgeon in the hospital when the ER called. Why aren’t you in bed?”
“I was trying to wait up for you. I had to tell you about the day I had.”
“I’m sorry I’m so late. I want to hear all about your first day at work.”
“Well, that’s not exactly what I wanted to tell you about.”
I shook my head. “I think we are in for some big trouble with our new neighbors.”
“Why would you say that?”
I started with the boat being three inches over the side setback.
“Seriously? They are complaining about three inches?” Jayce asked.
“I know, right? Someone must have smacked her with a stupid stick.”